There are many ways to request a reply from your guests. You should always reply as soon as you receive an invitation, whether or not you will attend an event, if it says “R.S.V.P.” or not. But because people often forget to respond promptly, it has become standard to formally request a reply as a reminder of this courtesy.
Regrets Only
You can ask guests to tell you whether they will or won’t be coming. Or you can just ask them to tell you they will attend and assume that those who you do not hear from are not coming. (You just print “Regrets Only.”)
It is our experience that it is better to ask for a reply in all cases – yes or no – because that way you will have less worries about someone showing up after forgetting to respond. (It is appropriate to contact people to ask if they will be attending if you have not received a reply and your deadlines to finalize your plans are nearing.)
“M” or Name(s)
In the most formal, traditional invitations, an “M” would be placed on the line as short for “Mr.” or “Mrs.” We find this greatly confuses guests and they often do not write anything on the line. Therefore, we recommend using the word “Name(s)” instead as a prompt for everyone to fill out their reply cards.
No matter what you do, you will probably receive some response cards where the guests have forgotten to fill in their names. You can solve this problem by numbering your guest list and penciling a number on the back or bottom of the cards inconspicuously. (We can also provide this service to you.)
Limited Seating / Tight Guest List
If you know a guest will bring a date, you should address an invitation to your guest and their date. If you don’t want a guest to bring a date, you can write just their name on your response card, which indicates that dates are not invited.
If seating is tight, and you want to be extra clear about how many people are being invited, you can add a phrase such as “We have reserved ______ seats in your honor.” This makes it extra clear whether children can come, or guests can be invited. You must not forget to fill out each reply card as you insert it into each invitation. Alternatively, some couples write out the names for each of their invited guests on their reply cards, which is more time-consuming but also clarifies exactly who is invited once more.
Creative RSVPs
Trying to be original? Consider asking your guests to contribute a song request for the reception or to make some other contribution, such as bringing photos to share. Or you may leave blank space on the response card, which often allows guests to add a personal note if they desire.
Some couples like to welcome traveling guests with a gift bag at their hotel. You can add a few lines to a response card to ask for their arrival date, hotel, or even flight time and number if you are planning such a welcome.
Online RSVPs
A new trend is to request a reply at a website address. Some wedding website companies offer the ability to track electronic replies from your guests. (We can design a website for you!) However, if you have a lot of guests who aren’t savvy about technology, this may frustrate them. Consider whom you are inviting before you request an electronic reply. Some couples send some guests a traditional reply card and direct more tech savvy guests to reply online.
Multiple Wedding Events
If you’re planning multiple events for your wedding, consider inviting people to everything you have planned for your weekend celebration and include a detailed response card. Guests can check off all the events they will be attending, eliminating the need for sending out any other invitations to wedding events and simplifying your planning efforts.
We frequently do TWO SETS OF RSVP CARDS: one for guests just invited to the wedding, and another for guests who are also invited to the rehearsal dinner or to other events as well. This often breaks down between in-town and out-of-town guests. Please ask us for options.
Here are some examples of standard reply wording:
. . . . . . . . . .
Kindly respond by the tenth of May.
Name(s) ___________________________
{ } Accept with joy
{ } Decline with regret
. . . . . . . . . .
The favour of your reply is requested by the tenth of May.
We have reserved _______ seat(s) in your honor
Name(s) ______________________________
_____ Accept with pleasure
_____ Decline with regret
Will you also attend the rehearsal dinner?
_____ Yes _____ No
. . . . . . . . . .
Kindly respond by the tenth day of May.
M _____________________________
( ) Joyfully accepts
( ) Regretfully declines
Please indicate preference for
( ) Western or ( ) Indian cuisine during dinner reception.
. . . . . . . . . .
Répondez, s’il vous plait (OR Respondez s’il vous plait)
. . . . . . . . . .
The favor of your reply is requested by September first.
Name(s) ____________________________
__________________________________
____ will attend with pleasure ____ cannot attend
If you are unable to attend, we ask your presence in thought and prayer.
We are looking forward to celebrating with you.
. . . . . . . . . .
Please reply by the first of May.
Name(s) ______________________________
____ Yes! We’ll join you!
____ Sorry, we’ll be there in spirit.
Please indicate your meal preferences with the initials for each adult:
_______ filet mignon _______ seafood _______ vegetarian
Number of children attending ___________
. . . . . . . . . .
The favor of a reply is requested by October 31, 2014.
Name(s) ____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Please indicate which functions you will be attending:
Cocktail Welcome
May 29, 2014 * 8-10 p.m.
Number of guests________ will attend _____ will not attend
Wedding
May 30, 2014 * 3:30-4:30 p.m.
Number of guests________ will attend _____ will not attend
Reception
May 30, 2014 * 5-9 p.m.
Number of guests________ will attend _____ will not attend
Brunch
May 31, 2014 * 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
Number of guests________ will attend _____ will not attend
. . . . . . . . . .
And here’s one more casual, original idea, based on the old “Mad Libs” concept:
Please take a moment to fill in the blanks:
_________________!
exclamation
__________________________________is/are ____________________ to announce that
(your name or names) (adjective)
they will be ____________________ to attend
(able/unable)
There are _________ people in our group.
(number)
Kindly reply by May 12, 2014